Butterflies
by Lady Deviance
Summary: It all started out as a simple crush; one of those that fades with time, for one reason or another. The only difference in her case and everyone else's is that no matter how hard or what she tried... she only fell further. And those damn butterflies certainly weren't helping!


Was she dreaming?

She breathed in, inhaling his scent. Oh, how addictive that scent of masculine musk and freshly cut lavender was to her heightened demi Saiyan senses. It even overshadowed the heavy scent of fresh rain on this dreary afternoon.

Pan knew she should stop, that she needed to let go. It was probably getting rather uncomfortable for him having her embrace him for more than a few seconds in a quick greeting.

But he was her Romeo; her poison apple; her draught of death. A love not meant to be.

Although he may have been her Romeo, she would never be his Juliet.

That was why she had to let go.

But being the selfish creature that she was, she just wanted to hold onto him, repercussions be damned. Yes, the youngest of the Son line would be perfectly content to stand in front of her parent's house with her arms draped around his neck, nose buried in the crook of his neck, absorbing all that was /him/.

It had been so long since she had done this, too... Since she last embraced or even laid eyes on him and Pan was determined to refresh him into her memory.

Two years, to he exact. He had been studying abroad for two traders in order to learn about other cultures, people and even a few languages other than Japanese to aid in his position as CEO of Capsule Corps. He had to be the best and make it even better, after all. Their intergalactic escapade several years ago had inspired him to do more than just the bare minimum and to do that he felt he needed to further his education.

It was quite admirable, really.

Her eyes fluttered open, barely enough to allow light through her long, raven lashes. Pert lips parting, she releases a deep breath. Almost a sigh. Ever so lightly, she stepped back and pushed him away. She couldn't let her resolve waver. This was it. She hadn't officially gotten to physically see him off when he left nor had she been around during any of his brief visits to do so then.

It didn't help matters that she was leaving to study abroad in a few days time. She had only just graduated high school a few weeks prior but in order to make the best of her full ride scholarship she would have to arrive there before classes began for the year.

So it was now or never, really.

Her gaze roze to meet his.

Within the depths of his irises Pan coud see a sea- no, an ocean- of emotions; joy, confusion, and even a hint of hurt evident among others. Her chest clenched. She'd loved his eyes too. His eyes were like a window to his soul; they were as warm, clear and pure as the sky on a cloudless summer day.

But through his eyes she could also see his feelings he reflected toward her.

Feelings that, unlike hers, were entirely platonic.

In his eyes, she was reflected as a little sister like Bra or at best, a friend like Goten and the rest of her family.

There it was again...

That insistent tug. Or a clench, rather.

It was her heart; the very one she'd so carelessly allowed to be ripped from her sleeve.

The one he had unknowingly stole.

Or, had she given it to him?

That infernal organ that she needed but didn't want. It was being crushed by someone who didn't even know how much of an impact his actions - even such a casual thing like a hug - had on her. It was broken and bleeding.

She hated him for it and she hated herself for feeling this way. She had always known it was wrong and that he would never feel the same. That's right. He shouldn't feel the same. It was weird. Society would view it as a taboo and that wouldn't look good for him.

But she loved him so much, and although she didn't always know it, she had for years. Even before the events of the Grand Tour, which at the time had unknowingly tightened those bonds. Pan had never been drawn to another like she had to him. It could also be said that he was a flame and she a moth. The moth loved the flame and was burned as a result of getting too close.

Oh, she hated throwing that awful four letter word - the one that began with an 'L'- around like a cheap rubber ball. But what else could she dub these emotions? For years they were just a 'simple crush', but now that was quite the understatement.

Tilting his head to one side in mock-childish cuteness, his mesmerizing gaze met her own. Immediately, that insufferable feeling returned.

Butterflies.

The next time she sees one, she swears, she'll smash it. Or rip it's wings off so it would be nothing more than an ugly worm with legs. Quite like these emotions she felt.

A vow in vain, because she knows she couldn't do it. She couldn't justify killing or mutilating a poor, innocent insect just because she was having a shitty time. Such an act would not alleviate even a small amount of the pain she feels. In all honesty, it would only serve to make her feel worse.

It was her own fault for being weak and "falling in love" with someone so unattainable, after all. She had mighty Saiyan blood, for Dende's sake- it was about time for her to own up and start acting like one, or at least startthinking like one! What kind of wimp can't get over one stupid man?

His lips parted in preparation to speak, and she mentally smacked herself for wondering how those sinful lips would feel if she were to slip her arms around his neck and smash hers against them. She wondered how he would taste as she surfed her tongue across his bottom lip, asking entrance...

She dearly hoped he didn't notice her stare. Thank Dende he couldn't read her thoughts. Unlike his, her eyes were most certainly not a window to her soul and she wasn't too easily read.

She was frowning.

"Hey Panny, what's the matter? I don't have any cooties... I think." At the last comment, his sultry voice broke into a bellowing laughter. Her heart clenched; her iron will the only barrier keeping the river of tears at bay. At least he didn't notice.

And if he did, he would hardly spare a thought to it. In Trunks' eyes, she would never be anything more than than the little cry baby he had been coerced into babysitting more than a decade ago, no matter how old or how mature she became. He should probably perceive the waterworks as tears of joy over this reunion.

He just didn't understand. And sometimes, she was thankful for his blissful ignorance. She didn't want to burden him with her festering emotions which at the moment were like an infected cut being doused with alcohol.

His blissful ignorance had at least allowed them to maintain what they'd always had, despite their immense age gap among other things.

A friendship.

And for that friendship, she would endure this pathetic little pain, and toss her love aside. Even if it were only for a moment with him, untainted by these horrible, unholy desires he'd think 'Pan-chan' was incapable of possessing.

She would return to him in a few years time as entirely a friend- one who would laugh and cry with him and be there when wanted and needed. One who had no feelings that weren't anything but platonic.

She'd harbored such emotions for this amazing man, but was content with their friendship. Or so she told herself. She knew painfully well it was wrong to feel this way and couldn't easily go back to thinking of him as she knew he thought of her.

Yes, it would take a while to knock him back down into the friend zone again.

Plus, he already had his Juliet. Except she wasn't his Juliet- she was his perfect other half, Pan had deduced. Trunks had even taken her with him to sudy abroad and often spoke highly of her on most of the few and brief phone calls they shared during his physical absence. The love and adoration in his voice as he descrived his lady was almost tangible. A half baked Juliet wanna-be couldn't even begin to compare.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She released an indignant snort.

"Sorry boxer boy, but I believe my thoughts are worth more than a penny... More than even you can afford, actually." Though in reality no amount of money could ever purchase her thoughts. "So no, no penny for my thoughts."

He chuckled a bit more. She wondered why he was in such a giggly mood. Perhaps he had sipped an abnormally potent alcoholic beverage that she was still to young to taste. She quickly ruled that out, though, as she hadn't smelled so much as a drop on his person. He was probably getting laid later, she concluded.

"Ah, well I didn't expect many thoughts from that pea-sized brain anyways, but it was worth a shot. It almost would have been a penny well spent, little Panny." He then ruffled her hair; just like he did years ago, when she was hardly tall enough to pull his own. Now, she was pleased to note, she could reach any part of his head without much of an issue, height wise. Not that it matered to him because she was still, she was short enough for him to teasd her about their mild difference in stature. Mild because the crown of her head did not even rise above his Adam's apple.

Without a word or glance of warning, her fist snaked out at an upward angle. She stifled a giggle with one hand when he rubbed his bicep. Like that tap had actually stung. He should be thankful she wasn't the type of girl who pulled hair or aimed for the family jewels.

"Ow, you know I was kidding! Be gentle, I'm delicate." He whined minutely before flashing a grin. He was such a brat sometimes.

A flash of light glimmered from his pocket followed by an excerpt from a song she didn't recognize. He held out a finger to her as he read the name of the caller and smiled.

"Hey, love," must be his girlfriend, Pan concuded.

"Ah, I'm just visiting the Son's. Alright, I'll be there in a few. Love you, see you soon." Trunks slipped the device back into his pocket before turning his attention back to Pan.

"Hey, I'm sorry to cut this short but Marron needs me for something. I'll call some time tomorrow and we'll catch up then. And give my regards to Gohan and Videl."

He stepped forward and gave her a quick peck on her cheek before departing with a grin and a wave. Even after his vehicle disappeared from view Pan was still staring in the direction in disappeared. She was left in a daze with a slight blush dusting her cheeks. The feeling in the pit of her stomach was more prominent than ever.

Damn butterflies!

It was just a friendly kiss. A last for her. She would be on a plane to Europe before noon and she won't be back for a while.

In four years she'll return with a degree and without those horrible feelings; every Trunks-induced butterfly will be long gone.

\- Fin -

I hope y'all enjoyed this! It's an edited version of the Butterflies I published a year ago. I may do a follow up to this, idk. I have the T/P feels as of late.

\- Lady Deviance


End file.
